I don't pretend to understand women's little quirks
 Just one thing I know for sure - chicks dig jerks, yeah.

 Well, if I meet one more single mom
 Whose true love is up and gone
 Tells me on her trailer porch
 'Bout that man
 Still carries a torch,
 Sure, he came home drunk each night
 Beat the kids and her in a fight,
 But, man, she loves him so,
 It's so hard to let him go, aw.

 Well, I don't pretend to understand women's little quirks,
 Just one thing I know for sure - chicks dig jerks.

 Well, I'm sure there's some out there who can relate,
 Particularly young men without a date
 See some jerk, some fine, fine babe,
 Go driving away, aw.
 Well, is that a new bruise you got on you?
 What does it say, that he loves you?
 Sure he beats you, but afterwards he cries, "Oh, baby, I could
 die."
 Honey, I don't think that's nothing to be proud of,
 I think it's called alcoholism
 I don't think you should move away,
 Stay with him till you're in your grave, yeah.
 "You're so sweet."
 "Can't we just be friends?"
 "I think of you as a brother."
 Aw, man. You're hurting me.
 What do I have to offer you, baby?
 Poetry and true love.
 That's not enough, I know for sure,
 You need someone to throw you through the door.

 Well, I don't pretend to understand women's little quirks.
 Just one thing I know for sure-chicks dig jerks!
 Chicks dig jerks, it's so true.
 Tell you, man, be mean to 'em man, they'll never leave you,
 then,
 'Cause chicks dig jerks.

 Just ignore 'em.
 Act like they're not there.
 Man, you're gonna be pulling chicks out of your hair.
 They love that.
 Act like you don't care,
 Aw, look at them everywhere, they come running.
 Tired of being a good guy Such a lonely life.
 I'm gonna be a jerk Yeah, that's right, I'm gonna step on lots of
 toes.
 Whoo, girls gonna go crazy for that kind of guy.
 Baby, I'm gonna act like I don't know you.
 Not gonna return one of your calls.
 Yeah, I'm a jerk And it's working out.
-Bill Hicks, Chicks Dig Jerks