Apparently, down in Melbourne there seems to be a '70's resurrection.  In itself, it appears quite innocent.  Beaded jeans, paisley shirts, ponchos, etc, etc, Nothing too scary. Anyway, It seems that the one thing which has not yet graced the shelves of these stores is the mighty Ugg boot.

The Ugg boot has the potential capacity to turn a person's brain to slush.  The proof of it lies in Australia's own backwoods towns like Moe and Doveton.  You know... Twenty-nothings with blond hair and and inch and a half of black roots named Cheryl, who walk around in tracksuit pants and ugg boots dragging a toddler from one hand and holding a ciggie in the other.  "Jayden, Jayden, stop hittin' Shane or were goin' back to Moe" or "Kylie, bring me my ciggies!"

The dark evil truth is that there is a secret extremist political party which is in cahoots with the fashion industry.  At precisely the right moment (three and a half weeks before fashion decides to resurrect the '80's) they'll release ugg boots onto the fashion market in order to turn the public's brains into slush.  They'll then gain power by promising the public more dole money and no minimum age for leaving school.  Their cry of "free ciggies and VB's for everyone" will ultimately win them the votes which will put them into power... and from there, Australia will become the next Superpower, building the worlds largest navy that relies solely on Ugg boots, both for fuel and ammunition...

And somehow, my friend will get himself elected Lord of Australia, and lead a campaign to conquer the world, handing out territories to his closest friends and advisors.... suddenly, this doesn't seem so bad...

*Evil Laughter, and I quote: Bwah ha ha, Muha Ha ha HAH!*
 

(So, basically, from "and from there, Australia will become" it turns into my own take on the matter, but before, it's all Elly's ideas, just slightly re-worked.. Narf, eh?)